Papaw Waters And My Memories

LENGTHY POST WARNING.....pardon, but I was in a writing mood today. I think some of you might enjoy. smile emoticon

Papaw Waters and my memories: Today, March 4 is "Papaw" (Joseph Oliver Waters, Sr's) birthday. He has been on my mind this week and so Sam and I did a rummage through some photo albums to find the following photos.

Maybe some of you don't know. But, my full name is Miriam Annette Shippey (Whitley). So, why then did I get the nickname, Nettie? When Papaw saw me and realized my name was Annette, he just simply said, "Well, I finally got my little Nettie." The name stuck. (Nettie Elizabeth Ann Waters was his mothers name). I was called Nettie until my 9th grade year at which time I though Nettie was a country girls name. I was going into high school and though Annette more sophisticated. So told my classmates, I'd ignore them if they called me Nettie.....so Annette I soon became. Today, I prefer Nettie! HA! Oh, the antics of my youth! How sweet to have been given such a special name, Nettie.

You know, I was one very lucky kid because Mom and Dad were going to school and work and my daycare was at Mamaw and Papaw's house. I spent a LOT of time with them. A LOT of time! I am so thankful for those times now because I have lots and lots of memories. So many they overwhelm me today. So, I decided I'd share a few.

One day a week it would be Papaw's day to drive to Atlanta in his Big White Delivery Truck and pick up furniture for the store. It was always a bumpy ride for some reason. Mamaw would be crocheting. Papaw usually quiet then out of the blue a song or two or a rhyme we grandkids can all remember he did quite well. It was sometimes a 2 hour drive to get there. HOT in summer and the truck didn't have A/C I believe. But, I was happy as could be. I knew somewhere along the way Papaw would say, "Mamaw, let's stop and get a burger. That place is coming up and I'm hungry for a burger." Those burgers were big to my little self but it and the fries I'd gobble up were delightful. Sometimes, he'd get us a milk shake we'd all share. Chocolate. I'd be standing between Mamaw and Papaw the whole ride. After picking up furniture, Papaw would say, "I'm going to go stop at "such and such auction" and see what I can sell and get". He'd often tell me to stay in the truck with Mamaw. But, I'd sneak out of the truck and walk around until I found him. He'd scold me, "Nettie, you shouldn't be in here with all this cigarette smoke and spitting. But since your here hold my hand." And, I would. My small fingers usually wrapped around his big ole pinky until he would want to make a bid then I'd stand next to his leg until business was done. It was always dark night when we would come home. I would usually have to be awakened or carried in to one of their beds. I think most of those nights I just stayed with them and got picked up the next day by Mom and Dad.

Any of you grandkids remember the white station wagon we'd all crawl into. Who's going to ride with Mamaw and Papaw? And off we would run.

Do you remember when Sunday would arrive and after church meeting we'd all go for dinner/potluck at Mamaw and Papaw's? I remember running into the house trying to beat every other cousin to Papaw first so he could scratch my back before the others. Oh, the lap competition. HA! Crazy how much we would love that. I don't think any back scratch lasted over a minute but oh we would vie for that time. I'm next one would say! Then another, well, I'm next!

Papaw's favorite cake was coconut cake. He LOVED homemade best. I think I learned to like the flavor just because Papaw loved it. When a homemade one wasn't available, he'd buy Pepperidge Farms frozen coconut cakes. Mamaw would have to scold him because he'd sneak in and take some slices before dinner. She probably knew I use to sneak in and get a tiny slice myself...but she never scolded me.

Papaw bought Mamaw a brand new black stove. Papaw thought he would surprise her but when she saw the black stove she told him he'd just have to take it back. Why?, Papaw asked. Mamaw said, "I hate a black stove. Get me a white one instead." Papaw in return said, "Well you could have fooled me! Your white stoves always turn black." OOOOOooo boy! He had to run from the room on that one! (Mamaw knew two levels of cooking; High and OFF! Her burners would be so black. One time I asked her why she kept the singing tea kettle always on high. She said because I hate warm tea/coffee. And if anyone comes, I have hot water ready for them.) By the way, the black stove did get returned and replaced with a white one.

I remember sitting on Papaw's lap and he'd give me a big ole hug and that large hand of his would come up and caress my cheek. His hands were usually rough but the tenderness and love he conveyed in that caress made me feel I was very special to him indeed.

Papaw would come home for lunch every work day. He'd eat and then say, "Mamaw, It's nap time." He would go lay on their bed on top of the covers. Mamaw would quietly lay next to him. She was the "timer" you see. She was not suppose to ever let him sleep over 15 mintes. Papaw always said that 15 minute naps were power naps. Any less or any more would make you sluggish for the day. But, just 15 minutes and "boom" Papaw was ready to get back to the store. Me, I was suppose to be laying down on my bed in the guest room but I didn't want to be too far away. So I'd sneak to the door but not enter. I'd just sit on the floor right where the door was cracked open a couple of inches. I'd hear them talking about something or someone then Papaw would start to snore. Mamaw rarely ever slept for she was the 'timer' and I KNOW she had to realize I was not in my bed but she rarely scolded me. Thank goodness Papaw's naps were only 15 minutes!! Ugh! I hated when we would have to nap for longer.

Mom was at Emory Hospital in a coma. She was there nine days. Papaw hadn't been able to get down to visit her and was anxious to do so. I don't remember who all came with him. But, I remember people coming into the hospital room door until finally Papaw was at the door. He took one step inside and froze. His arms went up to the door frame as if to hold himself up and the words he spoke were this; "OH Nita! My Nita! You're gone. I know your gone! My Nita, your soul is no longer on this earth. I can feel that." He broke into tears but kept his composure as much as possible. He went to her and caressed her cheek just like he had mine so many times as a child. He said, "A parent isn't suppose to outlive their child. Oh, how I am going to miss her." And then he cried hard. Me, well, of course, I bawled. I knew in my heart then that Mom was gone. They hadn't taken the two test necessary at that point to determine if she was brain dead. So, she was still on a ventilator. But, his words I knew were true. And within a day or so we found out he was correct. That day so vivid and emotional to me even today.

We took Sam to their house for a visit. Papaw was sitting next to Mamaw who at this time could not speak due to her strokes. I asked Papaw, "What kept your marriage so strong throughout the years?" Papaw got quiet for a few moments as he turned and was looking at Mamaw. Then his hand went up and caressed her cheek and said, " Love. Simply, Love." It was all that was needed to be said. He loved Mamaw so very much. The story of how they met is quite entertaining but too long for this post. (see photo entitled Last photo).

As life got more full and busier I found myself going less and less to their home for visits. The ones I did make were special. But to this day I wish I had of made more visits as an adult.

I remember the day I got word that Papaw had the stroke. Seeing him lying in bed not knowing whether or not he could hear and understand because he couldn't speak, broke my heart. The big burly full of life Papaw that I'd always known was at deaths door. I tried not to cry as I leaned down in his ear to tell him something personal, but I cried anyway as I spoke into his ear. I had my hand in his and I felt him squeeze it after I had my say. It was the last touch of that big burly hand yet soft touch of affection I ever felt from him.

In MY eyes, he was always kind. He tried to make people laugh. His Faith and Truth meant the greatest to him. He loved his family! He loved his Grandkids! He loved his Great-grandkids! I wish I could remember all the stories he told. The ones about the gospel and the different meetings he and Mamaw would attend all over the world on their various trips. The talks he'd give of his time in the military. The funny tricks he'd play on relatives. I don't remember him being unkind to anyone. And, he always tried to help out where he could.

He helped forge a path in my life and a sensitivity to people. I treasure his example, the time he had for me, and the lessons learned by just being with him in my youth.

We may not realize the effect with have on someone else's life. We may not realize just how closely someone is watching us.
Oh, how I was lucky! I had the best Mamaw and Papaw, ever!
So, take heed....

Love. Simply love. 
It's something we can all do!

Written By: Annette Shippey Whitley